Faith

I spent Thanksgiving in with my family. I asked myself what I had to be thankful for. I found three things: my health, my home, and people. I'm truly thankful for the love I share with Lori, and for my relationships with my family. I thought of some people I call my friends. Sean, Monica, Dan, Colin, Carmine, Quentin, Tom, Joe. I wondered if they truly knew how much I value their input in my life. I thought about people I've met through trainings and through this column, some of whom I've not even responded to.

And then I asked myself, what do I want to be thankful for next year? I decided: better health, a better home, and stronger relationships and more time with the amazing people in my life. I decided to make some changes.

Faith

My friend Monica showed me around Boston a when I visited her three weeks ago. I gave her my Neurosonics tapes as a present. "I almost forgot," I said, "I want you to listen to these hypnosis tapes and tell me what you think." We were in her car. I felt the temperature dropped about six degrees. I looked at the road.

I remember the day I gave up religion. I screamed at my parents that I was an Athiest. I wouldn't be pushed into confession at our Catholic church. I wouldn't let other people choose my beliefs. I cooled off since then. I've tried to embrace a healthy Agnosticism. Anything's possible, and there are plenty of rewarding belief systems around.

Yet here I was in Monica's car, peddling my model of the world. I heard a word in my mind: evangelist. It felt creepy. I mentioned that. We changed the subject. I left the tapes there.

On the flight home, I watched the clouds beneath me, and told myself I'd developed faith in NLP. When a people told me about their problems, I'd think, "This person should learn NLP!" After all, NLP makes everything better, doesn't it?

So why did I feel stuck in a job with little pay and little time left over to do the things I really loved? How could I still not have the life I wanted? Had I fallen victim to the "Jesus Saves" trap? NLP takes care of you, and you don't have to do anything at all!!

The thing I loved about teaching kids, and the thing I missed in my current job, was really connecting with another person. I knew I wanted to work with people. Clients. Students. Prospects. Interviewees. All of these roles involve encountering other people with other belief systems. Sure, I could allow myself to tell all these people about NLP. Yet that's produced too many awkward moments for me, and too few results. But why? Why do people back away when I start talking about it?

They say if you give a timid man a Ferrari, he'll put it in a case and show it off to his friends. NLP is my Ferrari. Why annoy people by talking about it when I can take them for a drive? What if I set an example, instead, and put my faith in NLP to the test?. What if I quit my job, worked for myself, and built the life I truly want and deserve?

Do you know what happened? I went to work the very next day, and I enjoyed it so much I forgot to quit. The day after that, I hated it, but thought to myself, "sure, but remember yesterday!" Day three, I jumped out of my chair and marched down the hall to quit, only to find myself turning around, heading for the water fountain, and mysteriously sucked back into my chair. One morning, I sat in my car, shaking for half an hour before I went inside and didn't quit.

I talked to Lori. We did a session, where I dictated a letter to my boss. "I like a lot of what I do at this place, but it's not getting me where I want to go." Lori's hand got tired. We used four pages. We future paced. I open the office door, and I think, "I like a lot of what I do at this place." I take a step in, and I think, "But it's not getting me where I want to go."

She pretended to be my boss, and I read the letter. I couldn't do it. I told my pretend boss about a project I'd been working on. Lori cut me off. We talked. "Your work life is just a model," she finally said. I'd been stuck in it. I laughed. I pushed my mental pictures of work off a few feet. I saw what values and behaviors were appropriate there, and as she pretended to be my boss, I said, "You know, I like a lot of what I do at this place, but it's not getting me where I want to go."

Outside our models, there are no bosses, no coworkers. There aren't even people. Just colors and sounds and temperature and feelings. We organize these sensations and respond to them to create our lives. They're just trances. The question is which to use today?

In the next few days, I talked to my boss, and I left my job. I made the effort to respect the company's mental models, but kept myself separate. I left feeling we were on good terms.

I imagined the world wide open before me. I wondered what came next. I tried being scared. "Oh no. Now what will I do? Why would anyone hire me when I just quit somewhere else? What if I don't make it? What if I fail?"

These thoughts don't work for me. When we fear, we create powerful emotions about an expected outcome. But I knew that when we teach ourselves to expect a better outcome, we create powerful emotions that feel good. That simple twist has a name. We call it faith.

What is failure? I thought about that question for hours. I found a better question. "How can I fail until I'm finished?" Failure is an end. As long as we keep moving towards our goals, we cannot fail.

Will I put my faith in that? No. I don't need to put faith in ideas to use them. Not NLP, not positive thinking. I'll put my faith in me, and in the world I want to create. If people ask, I'll suggest this book, or this tape, but I won't give away tapes in people's cars. I'll just master my ability to communicate, and to create strong relationships with the people in my life. Then I'll truly have reason to be thankful.

Lab Notes

HTB is a weekly column again. As I search for a new source of income, I'm making sure I have time for this, and for manifestation.com. If you haven't seen the website in a while, I've cleaned it up quite a bit, and added some articles, including an animated piece on the NLP swish pattern.

Thanks a lot to all of you who answered my questions last issue. With all the travelling and life-changing I've been doing, I haven't yet taken the time to answer each one of you personally. I apologize, and will answer each letter in the next few days.

One final thing, that I've found amusing. There's an organization that sponsors a national high school debate contest. One of the topics this year is convection towers, which I mentioned briefly in HTB 7. Well, guess whose page shows up first when you search for "Convection Towers" on Infoseek? And guess who got about 20 different emails asking about them? :) Too bad I don't know anything!

As always, if you liked this issue of Hacking the Buddha, please share it with a friend. (Thanks!)